Bottom Line: Just Don't Die

My house is unnervingly quiet. All the men in my life are asleep, and instead of being smart and napping myself, all I can think about are the life goals I had before having the twins and how off path I am. I used to have legit goals that didn't include tricking my twins into eating green beans, y'all, I swear I did.

I'm scheduled to run my first-ever marathon, the Marine Corps Marathon, at the end of October. Part of me is thrilled; most of me is terrified. Train for a marathon?! On top over every other fucking thing I'm doing right now? Clearly, I'm an idiot. Or I'm insane, maybe. Or, the more practical reason for not cancelling- I've already paid. Damn it!

So with the help of a few friends, a husband who has always pushed me to seek my goals, and a lot (seriously, like a shit-ton) of Motrin-- I'm ready to start my 16-week training plan for running a marathon.

Stace's Goals for her First-Ever Marathon:

1.  Don't be a chickenshit. By that, I mean don't be the person who quits in the first week of training and only sees the overwhelming 26.2 haunting them on every run.

2.  Don't harm self or others. If I can get through 16 weeks of training without physically punching anyone in the face, I'll feel like I've succeeded here. Mostly, I don't want to be mean or gripe-y all the damned time.

3.  Have fun. Running was my passion before pregnancy and baby-related sleep deprivation ruined me for all physical activities. I am hoping to use this to have something that's just mine, and to see the beauty in that.

4.  Don't die. I just really don't want to be that person who ends up on the news at the end of MCM, y'all. You know that person: "One woman died running the Marine Corps Marathon today. She reached the 20-mile marker, promptly crapped her pants, and face-planted before being trampled by the whopping seven runners behind her." That person. Bonus points if I'm not delirious and incoherent afterward either. 

Clearly, I didn't number these in order of importance. I'm so screwed.